Cheat Like You Mean It
Cheating is something you hear a lot about in the paleo world. Some contend that having an blueberry muffin now and again is OK, others look for paleo–compliant equivalents of otherwise bad food, and the extreme want to toss you out of the paleosphere for merely mentioning the word
bread. It’s a hot topic, everyone has a different opinion, and tempers can flare.
I’m firmly on the side of enjoying life. If you think about that statement for a moment, you’ll see that it’s ambivalent. So, do I endorse cheating? If you’re changing your diet for specific health reasons, such as combating diabetes or other metabolic problems, cheating is obviously a bad idea. However, for the rest of us I think there can be some leeway. As in all things, though, the most important thing is to really do it right.
So if you’re going to cheat, don’t hold back. Legendary theologian and all around bad boy Martin Luther once said,
Sin boldly!1 (A friend of mine modified that to
Turn out the lights and sin boldly but that’s a story for another time.) Call me a perfectionist, but I’ve always been a big believer in going all out or not going at all. In that spirit, here’s how I cheat:
- First, get the least healthy, the most processed, the flat–out whitest white bread you can find. We didn’t have any Wonder Bread®, so I had to make do with something lesser. (I don’t live alone, and not everyone in the house follows a paleo diet, so things like this are always at hand. Bad for most days, but great for cheat days):
- Next, schmear it with some butter:
- Then pile one slice as high as you can with the worst mass–market potato chips you can find (I vote for Ruffles®, although these were a generic store–brand equivalent):
- Place the other slice of death bread on top:
- Smoosh it all the way down:
- And, of course, eat it!
- Finally, do it all over again:
Now, before either one of us has a heart attack, I only indulge in these bad boys maybe once every few years. (That was true even before I found paleo.) But, as I said, I firmly believe that if you’re going to do something, go all the way. I think you can agree that the Potato Chip Sandwich is definitely going all the way.
Melissa McEwen of Hunt.Gather.Love. fame tweeted this yesterday:
The most #faileo food of the month goes to [7–Eleven Introduces The Hot Dog Flavored Potato Chip]2
As is my nature, I issued a challenge:
I can beat that. Will blog it tomorrow...3
I think I win.
So, help me find more fun, health–wrecking ways to indulge in the occasional cheat! (Or at least to make fun of them.) What are your favorite death foods?
Martin Luther.Wikiquote. 2011–08–20. Web. 2011–08–25.
2McEwen, Melissa. Twitter. 2011–08–24. Web. 2011–08–25.
3Pizolato, Michael. Twitter. 2011–08–24. Web. 2011–08–25.
Wonder Bread® is a registered trademark of Interstate Bakeries Corporation.
Ruffles® is a registered trademark of the Frito–Lay Corporation.